To be with you again..

So I still walk on through the night and through the rain I would give it all Just to be with you again.
It's a lonely road for my heart is still in chains but I live my life just to be with you again.
We have walked together where angels go and we found a place inside us that only we could know..

How I wish I could get back those time.

I don't think you will ever fully understand how you've touched my life and made me who I am.
I don't think you could ever know just how truly special you are that even on the darkest nights
you are my brightest star. I don't think you will ever fully comprehend how you've made my dreams come true or how you've opened my heart to love and the wonders it can do.
You've allowed me to experience something very hard to find unconditional love that exists in my body, soul, and mind. I don't think you could ever feel all the love I have to give and I'm sure you'll never realize
you've been my will to live. You are an amazing person and without you I don't know where I'd be.
Having you in my life completes and fulfills every part of me. How I wish I could get back the time.
Thinking of you that's all I can say.. 

xoxo,

msM

be thankful and ask for forgiveness

Today, I think I walked 7km. I went to different church and recite those 14 stations of the cross and pray. It's a tradition during lenten season called Visita Iglesia. Family, group of friends, lovers and etc gathered together to do this tradition during lenten season. It's 2 years now that I'm doin this alone. I don't have friends with me and family, my sister has to go to work and she can't go with me, so I prefer to be alone and to make it solemn also. My friends who used to be with me doing this together the past few years was not here already. It's a nice feeling doin this thing. I'm doin this almost 6 years now every lenten season, to be thankful for all the blessing that I have recieved and ask for forgiveness and guidance also. For me, it is not only a tradition its part of my life being a catholic. Nowadays, I noticed that some people who doin this they dont take it seriously, sometimes makes you feel annoyed because while you're praying suddenly there's a flash of camera and some are very noisy, instead of praying they talked loud about nonsense and make it like they're just having a tour. Oh, yes doing Visita Iglesia is like your having tour in different church and place but not to the extent that you need to bother those people who solemnly praying. But thats fine, after all I finished it without any hassles.
Thanks God for everything!



xoxo,
ms.M

feel stranged..

Lonely and sad :(

change is the only constant things in this world

after all, life must go on and on, face the world with a bright smile like you never been hurt and cried...

xoxo,

ms. M

my heart desires

Life Changes, goes up and down

you never know until it comes around.

We try to smile thru good and bad

depend on friends to keep away sad.

The journey is long, the road is rough

faith and hope will be enough.

Don't waste a day in anger or regret

keep joy in your heart, your needs will be met.

I feel sad tonight and I can't really explain what happening to me. I feel bored and lonely. I want change my environment to recharge. I went out tonight and had dinner in my fave resto and have a cup of tea while having a conversation with one of my friend. We talked about her vacation leave from work due to her delivery for her 2nd baby. She is 8 mos pregnant but still she is working and sometimes shes working for 16 hours. I was surprised and sometimes I asked myself if I can manage myself working while pregnant (if incase in the near future i will be one). Hope all of my heart desires will be grant soon.. praying and hoping..

another journey, a lovely and cold november

A lovely november, oh my sweet november..why? because this is the month which i was born..:)

Oh its time to say hello to a month of November and say goodbye to October. Its another month of journey and another month of learning and having a roller coaster life. Its not more than 2 months then we'll say goodbye to year 2010, oh how time flies. Im getting old again..additional year to my age..lol :) they told me dont think too much about adding your age and getting old..its just a number! the important thing is you look young and you have good heart.. yay! thanks to the person who said that..
october, the month which i had a lots of trouble, failures,hardship, pain and tears that i shed, but that made me strong as time goes by but there were time also that im happy, i felt happy because of people/friends who care for me and who cheer me up and wont leave me during those times that i am feeling down..

and im waiting for some surprises, hope there is.. seems like I am hoping again for something..lol, well why not and what if's..

well then,

its time to be happy and enjoy life

Thanks God for all the blessings, guidance, wisdom, courage and for taking care to those whom i love..

ms. M is signing off.. till next posts..

plans

Today I feel kinda bored. I slept all day, nothing to do outside, its almost 1 week now that always raining here, so I prefer to stay home, that makes me feel bored of not getting outside for how many days..lol. Im thinking of what to do in the coming months.. I wanna share my list of the things that Im planning to do..and here's the things that i want to accomplish and to do;

> to do well with my finals in univ. looking forward to, since im doing well this past terms, hope everything will ends well..

> to learn pole dancing or to enroll in pole dance class, after i watch pole dancing, i think its a nice exercise that can make the body look nice and healthy.

> to make a landscape for  a mini garden..ahhhmm..im thinking how am going to do it.

> thinking and planning about my future, well...well..

> to travel with special someone or with my friends or family

> to learn how to cook different kinds of cuisines (become a professional chef) and travel around the world for my profession.. why not??

> to have a kids when i reached the age of 32, yay! (in my dreams)

> to learn how to improve my weaknesses

> to be successful in any career path that im going to pursue.

>to be with someone whom i love :( .  sigh..

the past..

Its a brand new month..hello October and goodbye September. i remember those september memories,memories that marks on me and changed my life.im stronger now than before and more matured. just reminiscing the past.:)

i need inspiration and some rest to recharge

i need some inspiration and medicine for the stressed. :(

I feel exhausted nowadays. Its hard for me to cope with the hectic sched i have now. If this garden what you can see around in your hommie every morning when you wake up, i think, everyday is a refreshing day, no worries waiting ahead of you and its really inspiring. yes, i feel not good this week and really my life has full of stressed. I need to feel okey but how?argghhh, whatta life i have now? too much stressed, annoying people around, people who give me those non stop stress and I still have lots of things that need some attention. I need some more strenght, courage and patience. im pissed off.. This is the first time i feel this way and i think its really to much and i cant take it anymore.. i really need some rest to relax my mind and to recharge.

something special missin by me.. tantrums and mood of a big girl..lol.

you make me feel missin you now, something special missin by me and guess what and who?, and thats a yummy yogurt..



Good morning! i have tantrums today and im not in a good mood. i need to pamper myself by listening to music. just feel bored and its killin me. thinking of going somewhere out there to release stress and those annoying issues. i feel wanna burst out coz of stress.



btw, i wanna say thank you to my new online friend , she gave me a link where i can learn basic arabic language, im having fun learning this language.hope to memorize some of the basic words.. well, its a test for me if i still have a sharp memory to memorize those words.

coz i hate,

reading books coz it makes me feel sleepy everytime but ofcourse theres still an exception, it depends upon the kinds of book that i want to read.



memorizing, i feel my brain want to burst out, lol. but whether i like it or not, i cant do anything, i have a lot of things to memorize esp. in my everyday lectures in class. ^-^. oh life!

tomorrow im going to visit the place for my project proposal, this is the first time that i will visit the place, feel kinda nervous coz its far from the city.


feeling sad :(. ive been thinking about u, do you still remember me?

as sweet as candies?? which one was the sweetest??

Loving many people all at the same time is like eating candies with different flavors....

it's fun because you get to taste all of them,

but once you're done... and when they're all gone,

can you tell, which candy was the sweetest?

Forever In Love..Love it..

I really love this.. Forever Inlove

oh! another month of journey..

Its weekend again. Its time to say goodbye to month of July and say hello to month of August.. i feel sad today and i dunno why? just feel lonely. i slept all day coz i went home late last night from work so i need to recharge and im not feeling okey since last week, it is cause of the unpredictable weather.

btw, yesterday while im at the mall roaming around with one of my friend, looking for some stuffs, somebody calling me and I was wondering who's that person.. it was a surprise.. my long lost friend, what a small world really.. i cant imagine after 7 years that we dont have communication to each other, our path crossed again, i felt happy seeing her again after a long time. in this cruel world theres a lot of surprises and unexpected things happend.

and..

im done with my first presentation report and i dont have any loads this week so I think I can relax and recharge myself, there are a lot of changes in me and i dont wanna think of what had happend before that cause me pain and make my heart cold. i just learned from it and think of things that make my life worthwhile and for the successful career i have chosen. Im in a middle of being confused and i feel im in a middle of nowhere..

Thanks God for everything.

not feeling well and wounds that cause pain

Quite busy, i dont have enough time to stayed long online. Im not feeling well since last week and yesterday while am outside and walking on the way home i feel dizzy and something bad happend to me, i just get back on my senses when i feel the pain on my legs and knees and saw little blood on it and bruises.. so today, im suffering from pain because of the wounds i got.

what happening to me? is it the sign saying that i should stop working and focus only on one thing?? aaarrgghhh...i might abused my health of doing a lot of things and i dont have enough time to rest. so, i need to change everything.


we made gazpacho soup today and ewww..the taste so disgusting.. i really dont like the smell and the taste of it.

Thanks God for everything! I need more strenght and patience..

wtf..

feel so annoyed and frustrated! why there are people who just think about themselves and their own happiness and they dont even think of what could you feel of what they did. arggghhh.. wtf

my sweet hello and new job

Hello everyone!

Its morning now but im still awake, just done doing my project (its just one of my projects.) I still have so much projects that needed my attentions. I have new work now coz I was assigned as a secretary, so its another thing that makes my day busy doing some scheds for meetings and other important things. Gossshhh, my dear sir, why oh why? you gave me now a lots of responsibilities.


Finally, I came up on a decision to change my mobile number because my old one didnt worked and the telco didnt fixed it and i cant use it anymore, so, to all my friends who sent me message or trying to call me, try to message me with my other number .. Im sorry, soon i will send you my new mobile no. just quite busy now and dont have much time for other things even checking my mobile. i skip my meal sometimes coz of busy scheds.


to all my friends;
just wait for my sweet hello on your mobile screen. xoxo.

questions?? so many questions that dont find the answer yet!

Whatta lonely days for me, not only days but weeks!.. i just feel lonely this past weeks. I attend mass tonight and i went to my fave place and stayed for an hour there, i want to feel better. I dunno why im still out of my senses nowdays. Im thinking of something different, its about my life and plan for the next coming year, since time passing too quickly, i need to plan ahead of time for advance preparations. I feel kinda bored with my everyday routine in life and I want some changes, a total make over!


I went out without bringing umbrella, so here i am again, coughing and have little cold, the weather nowadays too bad.


I talked to one of my new friend when i got home, and we had a nice conversation. i learned something new today shared by a good friend.Thanks! I end up listening to music tonight, i still not feel okey. why i feel like this??? Am not living in a lonely world..but why i dont feel the happiness? boredom killing me little by little!

There's a lot of blessings to be thankful for. Thanks God for all the blessings, for the courage, and strenght.

in a middle of the crowd

Hey yah! I had headache today, i didnt attend my class today. arrrggghh... I met new friend from somewhere and this person reminds me of someone, i just dont know if its just at the back of my mind that they have the same attitude, it just happend that i met this person unexpectedly and when we had conversation, it really reminds me of someone. anyway whatever it is im still blessed because in the middle of the crowd i met someone who become a good frend of mine and a person who always lift my spirit to feel better. thanks God!


Sometimes we didnt know who will come along our way, its just happend in unexpected time and place, sometimes people come and go in our life, we might loose them but at the end we just realize that we gain knowledge and learned a lesson from them, they leave a footprints in our life, and we treasured that person, eventhough he/she is not part of our life anymore or we dont have any communication with them there is a time that we still remember them and thinking where is he/she now? is he/she fine?.


anyway,


we have a lot of projects in our international cuisine.. i dont know how and where im going to start..lol :). im planning to buy a book, wheeww..its kinda expensive, but its okey to invest for this coz every year the value of the book became high and sometimes you cant find that kind of book in a bookstore coz they only have limited stocks.


i just fixed my old blog and soon im going to open it again..

Thanks God for everything!

is that happiness really matters? what would you do if youre in her situation?..

what will you do?

Last saturday i had dinner with one of my friend and she open up the topic about her soon husband to be and their situation, she's having problem now, she said she's not happy and she want her freedom back, she feel different and she really want her life back like before that she has freedom to do everything that she want, she has her own time that wherever she want to go she can go, unlike now she said everything is changed and she feel bored and tired the life she has now, and she tried to broke up with this guy but this guy didnt want to let her go coz she feel she dont have any feelings of love for this guy anymore. i never meet her husband to be yet so i cant say anything about her situation. haissstt poor guy! lol..



> as she is one of my friend and she is closed to my heart, ofcourse i feel pity for her coz she is having hard time in her situation, even im willing to help her, i feel i cant do anything for her coz i dont know the guy, i never meet her bf yet, and besides its really hard to interfere with the relationships of other people eventhough she is my frend, i think its unethical to mind their personal life, but if she really want to leave this guy she can do, ofcourse shes the only one who can decide for her life and not anyone else.


Q:
> are you willing stay in a relationship with someone if day by day you feel you are not happy?

>would you still love the person if you feel you dont have freedom to do anything that you want?

>would you still stay in a relationship if only one side has a love and not both of you?

>how far would you fight for the freedom that you want to get back?

>are you willing to take a risk whatever happens?

>are you willing to bear the pain, sadness when the relationship come to the extent of ending it.

>how strong you are leaving the person whom became part of your life and seeing him got hurt just becoz of the freedom you want?

>do you think you will be happy if you know that you badly hurt someone else feelings?

random thoughts

Hallooo!. just got time to make a post. i was bit busy this past days due to some reasons that can't avoid in my everyday life. At last i had time to visit my fave place, just got time to relax and to sleep all night all day, its 24/7..lol! Ahmmm... im just on vacation for a week, so i need to enjoy every minute of it after a long months of working without a vacation, so, i shouldnt spoil those free time i have now. i feel bit okey now, just feel kinda sad and bored. There's something that makes me feel sad and bad. Im going to start my bittersweet revenge soon, lol ;), just wait and see what will gonna happen in the next few weeks.

anyway,

I really love the weather here.. oh! i really love rainy season.its kinda romantic, is there something special with the rain? yes! coz it makes my day and inspired me. i remember those old times with my cousins and siblings. it brings back those childhood memories, its like candies and gummy candies that everytime i went to the candy store the first things comes on my mind was my childhood memories and my friends when i was a kiddo.


btw, i got sms from the people who cares but i didnt sent any reply coz im not in the mood to talk to anyone nowadays, i want to be alone and to relax, i dont want to talk to my friend for the meantime, I called it, "me time", they already understand if my status is like that. means i want to be alone.



I went to the mall tonight, I bought some stuffs and while having my dinner alone i saw the brother of my frend Ali, my god why everytime i saw him, he always staring at me? it makes me wonder and awkward, ahmmm..wanna ask my frend if why his brother is like that, maybe he want to approach me but he doesnt know how to do so because im kinda snob. and i never greet or even smile to a person whom not my friend, i dont care even they smile at me or they greet me. rule: "dont talk to stranger". but his older brother is nice person, all of them in the family were nice, as i remember he was the one who served me the food during his niece birthday, FYI: i was invited..lol!



Thanks God for the strenghts and courage and for taking care of my love ones and to those people whom i care about..


just thinking now what to do for tomorrow.

im back and other random issues

Im back.. after a weeks of not visiting my dear diary.. just having a very busy days, i need to finish my training as soon as possible. what a stressful weeks. im off at work today but im still busy with my other work.. :) i got tired today, i had a lot of things today. i went to the bank, bought some stuffs , i accompany my brother to the terminal going back home etc...


yey! my brother visit me here at home and stayed for how many days but he need to go back home because next week he will go back to work. hope soon he will visit us here again.. missed my family.


I got home late night since i started my training, everyday was a very tiring day. i feel so sleepy at work last night..lol.:) our chef cooked one of my fave food. yey! but i didnt eat that much coz im not in the mood to have lunch and dinner. i feel exhausted and tired. im getting closer to my last day in training.wheewww..after those sleepless nights, happy and friendly people around, new friends i met and annoying guests and night shift manager, really i dont know what kind of attitude he has coz sometimes he is very nice to us but sometime he is kinda bad and annoying. but i need to be good coz he is the one who will sign my training certificate and for my exit interview and other documents that i need for my portfolio and other university requirements.

anyway,

i didnt stayed long online since i start my training, im not updated of what happening around the globe this past weeks.i just dont have enough time to read. i feel kinda bored and sad nowadays. there's a lot of things happened this past month and i had a hard times to cope with the situation. i feel okey because im at work and i have busy days so i didnt feel lonely. thanks God coz all of the people at work were very nice to me.yey! Thanks God!.. I dont have time to watch tv, i almost forgot to check my mobile sometimes and sometimes i forgot to eat also.. this is the life of being busy.


I feel wanna cry sometimes coz i have a tan color skin now, i go to work at noon time and the weather outside too hot. still summer here and the weather too bad. i stopped my skin medication and vitamins for the meantime but after my training i will visit my derma doctor to continue my skin medication. and i lose weight, go back to being slim yay! too bad...


We planned to go out of town a week after next week, its a bonding session with new friends and colleagues and the managers that we love to be with us at work,lol! hope i still have energy to join with the bar department outing. hoping and wishing that i can join with them, hope i dont have any sched on that day.


Thanks God for all the courage and strenght and for taking care of those people i love..


Have Blessed week everyone.. missed my family..

happylovely signing off!. till next time..mwaahuggsss:)