a rollercoaster ride life with a bittersweet memories

Hey yah! I'm back after of few days of not visiting my online diary. I was busy with my finals in University. There's a lot of things happend that makes my life like a rollercoaster ride.

and I wanna share this dessert..

 flavored macaroons with chocolat

during my worst day I just think of those good memories that I had with those people whom I treasure a lot

How time flies, I didn't notice I am almost done with my degree, I thought I can't make it because of so many trials and hindrance I have been encountered while I am on the way of pursuing my dreams. I am very thankful to God for giving me a chance to have those people who helps me to pursue my dreams even though there were times that I almost gave up but they are always there for me to lift my spirit up, to support me and when everythings wrong with me they're always there to tap my back. Sometimes blessing comes in unexpected time and situation, sometimes we did'nt notice it is a small things that we just ignored. I am very thankful for having those good people around me, a priceless precious gems  that I have in my life and I'll keep forever.

Thanks God for all the blessings, guidance, wisdom, courage and strenght that you gave me and for giving me a chance to meet all those lovely people who touched my life while I am on my journey of reaching my dreams.


xoxo
ms. M

So little time

It is nice to be back on blogsphere.

Tonight after doing my projects. I checked my mail and happy to see my bestfriend online after long time. We chatted for a few minutes. I am happy to know that she will be back in the country end of this year. Its almost a year now that we haven't see each other since she left. I feel okey that she is doing okay and enjoying now her job at cruiseline. I just missin her a lot, she is one of my close friend and I treat her like a sister and part of my family, I have only two close girl friend whom I treat like my sister and part of my family, I trust them so much and whatever happens they will always there for me through bad times and good times. And I am proud of them for their achievements in life.

 I have busy days now due to submission of projects that we have. So, I seat on it just to finished for a day. It's been 3 weeks in a row now that I only have 3-4 hourse sleep. I feel I am so stress now and I really need some rest but it's not a right time to relax and have some fun because of too much things that need some attention and nee dto be done before the day of submission. I feel 24 hours is not enough just to finished everything that I have for a day, time passing too quickly and need to manage the time wisely. What a stressful weeks still to come but need some patience after this all of the hardwork will be paid off.
Thanks God for all the blessings, courage, wisdom, patience and guidance.


xoxo,
ms. M

some kind of pain

 I am kinda busy today. I went out early in the morning for some important things to do with one of my friend and need to got home before 1:00pm to prepare for our seminar in international wine appreciation. Oh here we are again wine tasting which is I dont like to drink any drink with liqour or even a little percentage of liqour but for today I dont have any choic. Lets party!.

Cheers to Good and Happy Life ahead!

Yes, every pain I have felt I know there's always a beauiful thing behind it even though it has a hurtful reason why it happend I still believe that there are always a good thing ahead of me and I dont' lose hope.

Learning from the past is one of the greatest achievement that anyone could have. What we are now its because of the past that we had exeprience in life. Tough times taught us how to fight and to be strong and most of all to face the world with smile and postive outlook.

I am strong now because once in my life I became weak, each of us has different flaws that we just didn't admit, we fight because we love and value what we are fighting for, sometimes I am fearless because I need to be, I am wiser because I learned a lot from my mistakes and to not let anybody fool me and most of the time I feel sad and lonely so I always try my best to make myself happy.

Because I just love more than anything and everything.

And now I am creating my own destiny alone unlike before that I always think of someone to be part of whatever dreams I have plan.

Theres nothing wrong to look back after those dissappointments, betrayal and pain. When I think of what had happend and look back I will just smile and say I am strong enough that I made it and passed all of it.

I will make sure that in whatever plans I have in the future ill make it a better one than yesterday. I will change for good and for whatever good things that will come into my way, I will just always look for the brightside of life and be positive always and of course be Happy...

xoxo,

ms M

Happy Mother's day to all Mom's around the world

A tribute to all Mommy out there!

 Thanks for everything my dearest mom. It's been how many years had pass and we haven't see each other but you are always inside my heart. I didn't hug you and talk to you for long time but you know how much you mean to me.

You are the best MOM.. and I am very thankful because God gave you to me as my mom.



Sometimes, I thought I used to live alone and far from you but those sometimes I can't count how many times I cried and longing for your care and love, during my worst day and I am struggling in life, my happy days and my achievements that I want to share with you and my days that I almost fall and I want someone to lift me. I am sorry for those especial times that I have missed that I should be with you and for all the circumstances and for the pain that I caused to you sometimes. I will do everything just to make it up to you soon. I know you understand me why I chose to be away and live alone. 

I love you so much Mama and I always will..

xoxo,
ms.M

what hurts the most??

Cannot go forward, cannot go back,
Wishing that I could drop dead in my tracks.
I know I am leaving something behind,
And it is tearing my spirit inside.

Choices have always made me aware
Of contradictions in me - so unfair!
It seems that it all has to come down to me.
I wonder if someone my struggles can see?

Self-hatred, self-torment - familiar sight!

Alone, be alone, and from it all hide -
That's my first impulse that won't get me far.
Is that way for many, or is it my star?

Maybe I should have simply there stayed,
And prevented the so unknown fate
That chills me and makes me so scared.
Who knows how I would have otherwise faired?

But my life has passed in change after change,
Now in security I feel too strange,
And my restless heart does make me go on.
Moving and shifting is ever my song!

When you are taken for granted but you're still holdin on.

xoxo,

ms.M

a wish of a lonely heart

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

i'm wishing..

xoxo,

ms.M

somewhere out there

I think somewhere, sometime, I may find
A friend who will be forever true,
With a heart of beautiful eternal love
Maybe it will be somebody new.

I'll imagine a heart so very caring
And a willingness to share,
A delightfully sweet sense of humor
With spontaneous care.

They shall know how to keep a secret
And when to turn to prayer,
Not needing to always chat
But glad to just "be there".

Might I search away in the blue yonder
Or shall I look behind,
I'm feeling such a sweet tickle inside
Someone special is coming to my mind.

Oh then, why should I search so far and wide
For a friend of God's design,
When your heart was prepared before I prayed
Waiting for me, there all the time

xoxo

ms.M

i missin you terribly

The Full moon shimmers
Rest of the world glimmers
The dark night glows
The moon light fllows
Beckoning...yearning
Rising...Hypnotising
Lovers moan
Passions shown

Moon...Moon...Moon...Come to me
Release me...make me free
Absorb me in your luminesence
Sparkling pathway of your fluorosence
Dancing in the sky
Lovers looking at you sigh
Oceans leap and surge
Stars whirl and merge 

Moon...Moon...Moon...Come to me
Listen to my heartfelt plea
Make me a shadow within
Pearl of a reflection in your skin
When my faraway lover looks at you
He will get a luminescent view
My reflection imbued
Of me merged in you

What makes me post this?? well, its because tonight when I open the door the first thing i saw when i look up in the clear sky is the full moon. what a lovely cold weather tonight. I feel inspired and  lonely sad.

Inspired, because everytime I see a full moon up in a clear blue skies it makes me feel differently happy,I feel so carefree, and i feel, i fell inlove all over again with the same person/man whom I dreamed to be with for the rest of my life and i feel theres a lot of good things around that we should be thankful for. I just can't imagine how God created such lovely light in the universe.

I feel sad because I really miss someone... A person who made my life happy and complete, since I met that person my life has changed and became totally different. A man whom I dreamed to be with for the rest of my life.. but unfortunately it cause me pain and leave me with a hatred heart until now.still you mean a lot to me..how I wish I will hear your voice again..

missin you a lot..

life- like a rollercoaster one

Hellooo everyone!


Its been a long day. I had fun today with my close frends in university,we eat together and have some funny moments..yay! They make my boring life happy and everytime i have problems and feel down and sad theyre the people who lift my spirit and always says to me that everything will be fine. yes they are right that in 100%, i only have 20% percent problem compare to those people who has more than the percentage of problem i have, so im still blessed and i should be thankful to God coz despite of all problems i have now im strong and have a courage to do everything that i want just to make my life worthwhile. I think it is normal to a human being to have problems, you are a very lucky person if you dont have any problem at all, since i learned a lot of things from people who care for me to not take life and problem seriously, and just enjoy life and be happy, well i did and i let go all the reasons that burdens me so that i will be free from worrying and from anything that could give me reasons to feel sad.




Since I have so much things to do, (projects, exams, feasibilty study etc.) i need to be free from any worries to focus on this things. having hard times for my finals in university but we enjoy everyday of our time with each other in class, sooner or later we will fall apart and thats another sad things coz after how many years of being together in one place, through hard time, bad time, happiness, sadness and pressured we're all one but we have our own different journey in life. Im planning to make another blog link for my university life and i planned to put everything that we had in our university life being together as one group. I just think of it now and hope soon if i have free time to stay long online i will start doing this. i will share the link here soon.

I feel not good this week,i have cough and colds coz of unpredictable weather, sometimes the weather here was too bad, i always remind myself to bring umbrella all the time, lol. :) i feel really tired today, when i got home i fall asleep and woke up late.yay!

and tonight i watched news and one of the news was "abortion and divorce to make it legal in this country". hmmm.. ofcourse first, 100% church against on it, some agree but most wasnt agree of it. well, lets wait what will gonna happend to this issues if theres a possibilities to implement this law or not but ofcourse the congress approval and pres needs just to implement this kind of law let us see if they will approve this issues and make it legal. If it happend theres a possibilities that it will cause a big problem in the country.:(

and before anything else,

I wanna greet creamer a Happy happy Birthday! I wish you all the best and May Almighty God Bless you always. hope you had a blast!..

xoxo..:)

Thanks God for everything, for guiding me and for giving me strenght, courage and wisdom.

our good friendship - and my skin derma issues.

I feel bored, lazy today..lol!. i attend mass and visit my dermatologist but she was not around today because of she has an important things to attend (thats what her sec. told me) just want to consult for something and ask for a new solution products coz the products i used is now out of the market since last january, how i wish i bought 3 doz. of it. it makes me feel worried a little bit coz that product is very important to me, or else im gonna undergo a - quick bleaching for every 2 weeks which is quite expensive or laser treatment. :(. well, dont lose hope, still hoping for the best.

anyway....

yey! while roaming around and thinking a lot of things i saw my friend ali. what a small world after more than month of not sending him sms and talking to him, we talked for an hour and its nice talking to him again,i miss his company and the way he laughed at things and every issues we talked about, and somebody send him a crazy message and he let me read it,all i can say about it was a cheap message from a cheap lady out there that makes us laugh together, i always pray that soon he'll find someone who will be his partner in life forever coz he is nice man and i know he deserve the best and a good woman, a partner who will accept him as he is and who will taking care of him, being one of his good friend ofcourse i always wish him all the best things coz been long he's alone and only his little princess is with him and she is not a kid anymore. hmm.ssshhh.. seems like hes dating someone but he still remember someone from the past, i missed also his ex gf, since she left she doesnt even call us and we didnt know what happend to her.
and he felt bad to me coz i didnt invite him when i went on vacation and travelled, he want to join with me he said, this is our frendship is all about, were like just brother and sister, we can talk any topic that we want to talked about, even its all about his personal relationship issues with someone or all about me and my personal life. im very thankful coz i met him and he became one of my good friend that i'll treasure. thanks for the good friendship my friend.


just inspired and feel okey, i feel im free of any burdens and stress. thanks to all my friends who always makes me happy and inspired me.


Thanks God for all the blessings, courage, strenght and happiness.

Have a blessed week everyone! mwaahhhuugggsss

qoutes for the day

Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be..

the time alone with you

When everything is cloudy ad the sun won't shine on me
And it seems like nothings goin right theres a place I want to be
Just laying there beside you in the shelter of your room
I leave the world outside your door, lose myself in you

When you're in my arms i find all that I need
I could never live without the heaven that you showed me
Ive been waiting all my life just to look into your eyes
I live for the time alone with you

And when i climb the stairs to find you and we reach for the light
I thank God ive got this time alone with you
Your kiss can captivate me and your touch can set me free
I count the hours till you are next to me

And its taken such a long time to find someone that understands
When I reach out for love now, I reach out for your hand
When I feel your heartbeat it makes me come alive
I don't wanna live without, somethin that is so right

Ive been waiting all my life just to look into your eyes
I live for the time alone with you
Cause everytime I see your face all my troubles fade away
I live for the time alone with you

wanna share this nice song:)

you're beautiful no matter what

Beautiful women are those who know th eroad ahead will be strewn with obstacles but they still choose to walk it because it's the right one for them..

Beautiful women are those who makes mistakes, who admit them, learn from that failure and then use that knowledge.

Beautiful women are easily hurt but they still extend their hearts and hands, knowing the risk and accepting the pain when it comes.

Beautiful women are sometimes beat down by life but they still stand back up and step forward again. Beautiful women are afraid. They face the fear and move ahead to the future as uncertain as it can be.

Beautiful women are not those who succeed the first time. They're the ones who fail time and again but still keep trying until they succeed. Beautiful women face the daily trials of life, sometimes with a tear but always with their heads high as the new day dawns.

sleepless nights..and chocolates addiction

Im having sleepless nights, i have a lots of projects to do..arrggghhh.. do i look like an owl?? lol. my neighbor saw me this morning and told me "Oh you look youre having sleepless nights, you look tired". obviously because last night i slept 3am in the morning, exactly 3:30 am, doin my event planning project, and im not yet done till now. im having hard times doing this projects because there is a lots of things to consider before i will make the whole package set up. oh lala! life, but still i finished my meditation and prayer before i slept.
happy lovely will be the kitchen manager this coming events, yes, im the kitchen manager for our final event in university and now im having difficult times in doing costing control for the menus ingredients. i dont know yet how much the budget for the menus we have, i need to have an idea so that i can make a cost plan if how much we needed for all the things we need in this event, our dean was quite busy this past weeks and she doesnt have enough time to talk to us about the event, so i dont have any ideas for the menus budget, i talked to my Function Manager asking for the set up and style of service but he just gave me the idea of buffet and he gave the menus to me. haisssttt.. im tired thinking about this event project.
I feel okey when i woke up today, i feel im inspired after of late slept last night.. huh! what happened to me? ahmmm..i just want to be positive in everyday that i woke up, because im tired of thinking those things that hurt me and just gave me a wrinkles. its another blessings for me from God and im thankful for the everyday blessings that i recieved, for the strenght, courage and inspiration.
i dont have time to talk to anyone/my friends coz my brain is busy thinking a lots of things. i went home late last night, i dont want to stay at home coz i just feel lonely..i had a short talked with my friend ali last night, he looked so sad..hehehe..hes is tired he said but i know the truth he is missing someone.. hope you will be fine my friend. cheeerrrrsss! just enjoy life!
i feel im a chocoholic this past weeks, i always ate chocolate to release the stress and sadness i feel, to make my adrenalin high and alive i need to eat chocolates everyday so that my brain will function well.
creamer makes my day!.i miss the pepperoni smell and the persian food it reminds me of something. oh lalala! the weather here is too hot.. my goodness rain where are you? i dont really like hot weather gives me backpain and colds. see yah! till next post..im quite busy nowadays. happy lovely will chillin out alone.. miss all of my friends, dont have time to have bonding with them. miss you all guys and gals.. happy lovely just bit busy and hope soon i will have free time to see you all..
mwaaaahhhhuuugggsss everyone..cheeerrrrsss!

feel wanna sing and dance.. happy lovely weather..

oh!..la la la.. when i woke up today i feel something stranged happening outside... oh! its raining today..i really love the weather . i really missed this weather after 3 months of sunny hot weather. seems like i want to play outside under the drops of rain, dance and sing..lol. miss those old times with my cousins playing outside every rainy season.

i thought it was still early morning, my clock inside the room is 1 hour late.oh no! what happend to my clock? i woke up bit late coz i still feel sleepy so stayed on the bed for an hour.

Thanks God for the lovely weather and for the blessings and strenght you give to me every single day that i woke up. hope my day will be good.

mwaaaahhhhuuugggssss everyone..

oh! i want a cold watermelon

i love the weather today, windy. stayed home the whole day, dont have class and some scheds that makes my day busy, busy doin some projects, im really tired.8 hours now that im infront of my keyboard..arrrgggghh...have backpain..

i slept this afternoon time coz i feel not okey, when i woke up i feel lonely, the feelings that i really hate, so i force myself to go back to bed and sleep again..lol.. but then again when i woke up i still feel the same feeling. what the heck!..

i talked to one of my friend and she said not at all time we feel happy, its up to us on how we handle the mood that we have in everyday. i agree with her but ofcourse i have some issues that kinda hard to explain thats why i always feel sad and lonely nowadays. im trying my best to be happy,but everytime i stayed home and alone thats the time i feel that loneliness that i really hate to feel. the reason why i want to be busy always to avoid thinking those burdens me. this past months i dont want to stay home coz i just feel bored and lonely. i need to meditate again to feel okey.

im craving for a cold watermelon lol.. i feel want to have cold drinks now. i have sorethroat problem 2 days now, when i woke up this morning i dont have voice, cause of the summer weather,i didnt take medicine coz i took pain reliever medicine for headache, every summer i got sick, im coughing, i have cold and headache it cause of hot weather and sometimes im careless.. as habib said im pain in the ass coz im careless and hardheaded.miss your presence habib..seems like youre too busy.hope youre fine and happy always..

when i checked my fb account i laughed coz one of my classmates post a video taken in our university function room and theyre singing like a boy band.it was a nice video.

thanks God for the blessings and strenght..

oh life! happy lovely one

I had a good day today eventhough i feel tired and quite busy in university because of lots of projects for finals, i still feel good, the weather is good today, i thought the rain will visit us but i was wrong..lol. really miss rainy season because i feel im relax everytime i heard the rain pouring on the roof. I wasted my time checking the price of the ingredients that we need next week, just to have an idea of how much were going to spend for it. just finished doing my projects so have time to make a posts, seems like my brain functioning well and im in a good mood to write now.
I feel lonely but its okey, i can manage myself not to feel lonely for the whole day, weeks and months, i used to this kind of life and i used to be alone also so i think nothing new for me if i feel it, its just a normal feeling for me, but sometimes its hard for me to control myself to be emotional everytime i feel lonely. Im just a human being and has a right to cry, laugh, to feel sad and to be happy. This is life and need to face the reality of life, life become complicated if we make it complicated and hard., so i need to relax and be happy lovely one.:)
im listening to music and i remember someone with that song, been a long time that we didnt talked, wondering and thinking and what if?.missing your presence.hope wherever you are now you are fine, in good health and happy.