I was emotional while im talking to my friend today, we had dinner together. I think only acceptance can release me from burdens that i have now, i ve nothing to do with the situation im into now. i feel, i always sad and longing for something that i know it wont happen, just thinking of something that someday will be possibly happen but i doubt it. its hard to answer all the questions that i have now because of sort of issues that until now i didnt find the answer and now im thinking to face the fact that it could be like this for the meantime and i will still wait till im totally find the answer that im searching for a long time. sometimes i hate myself being so kind because some abuse it and it hurts me a lot.
I feel better now and thinking some positive things that can make my life better, i dont want to think those things that can hurt me and make my heart cold as an ice and hard as a stone, because if that happens i know im not the same person that everyone used to know for long time, as much as possible i dont want to change of what i am because it could change my whole life that i know it could affect to some who those love and care for me.
I dont want to pretend that im fine because deep inside of me i feel hurt and sometimes i feel i have hatred in my heart that i always pray to not have it because its really hard to live a happy life if theres something bad deep inside my heart, im thankful to God because i always have strenght to face everything even sometimes i feel im tired thinking all of those things that burdens me and i dont know what to do but still i feel the courage and strenght from God who always make me strong in every trials i encountered and to those people who care. i know sooner or later everything will be fine.Thanks God for making me strong.
life is so complicated and unpredictable.